Our annual Most Worth It list recognizes the most-loved aesthetic procedures—from noninvasive adjustments to the top standard in surgery—as chosen by Ruli community members like you. This story highlights one or more of the 44 Most Worth It honorees for 2024; you can see the full list and learn more about patients’ preferred procedures here.
Female genital cosmetic surgery, the fastest-growing subspecialty of gynecology, is the collective term representing a number of elective procedures—including labiaplasty, clitoral hood reduction, hymenoplasty, labia majora augmentation, vaginoplasty, and G-spot amplification. The procedures are not without their critics and disputes, but overwhelmingly, women give them high Worth It Ratings and report increased self-assurance, better sexual experiences, and improvement in pelvic floor strength and urinary continence. We spoke to three women who underwent FGCS after their breakup or divorce about their motives. These are their stories, told to Alix Tunell, edited for length and clarity.
Melanie’s story
Melanie* is 53 years old and resides in southwest Ohio
I had my first child when I was 23, in 1989, followed by a second, in 1994, a third, in 1995, and finally a fourth, in 1999. I was married for nearly 24 years. We lived on a small farm so that our kids would appreciate the simple things, but it was a very rural area and I craved for more in my life. Even though we had a reasonably good marriage and sex life and there was no infidelity, I wasn't content.
I requested a divorce when he got home from work one day, and I left that night, which left him shocked and surprised. We pursued a little therapy after that but ultimately had a very peaceful dissolution that was finalised nine months after I moved out. That was four years ago. We’re still somewhat amicable but communicate only when it pertains to our children. I didn't have any lingering wounds from the breakup—I was over the moon and have no regrets.
My ex and I started dating and became sexually active with other people just a couple of months after our initial discussion about separating. I was quite insecure about the appearance of my genitals—I felt I had excess labial tissue and a very large vaginal cavity due to four vaginal deliveries. I also had been experiencing urine leakage for a couple of years, which my OB-GYN told me was normal as you age and after so many births. I found that very disturbing and was determined to find a way to restore my urinary continence. It was dreadful to be out on a date, laugh, and then wet myself.
I read that the O-Shot has a high success rate of correcting the urethra. That prompted me to call [board-certified OB-GYN] Dr. Amy Brenner in Mason, Ohio, and arrange a consultation. She spent more than an hour with me, conducting a comprehensive examination and answering all my questions. I decided to have my visual and leakage insecurities addressed by her three weeks later. I had a labiaplasty majora reduction, my inner labia removed, a clitoral hoodectomy, a vaginoplasty, a perineoplasty, and a series of O-Shots.
I was mostly coherent and awake for the six hours of surgery. During the recovery period, I was always in significant pain by the time I could take more pain reliever and ice was my greatest ally for well over a month. I was tender for about eight months and had to have a small revision with the perineoplasty because I had some tearing from being overly active too soon.
The entire procedure, along with a year of aftercare, amounted to $10,000. I consider it to have been a present to myself. I look wonderful in bathing suits now, with the inner labia removed and simply feel much more at ease in all my clothing. My vaginal opening is now what they measure as one finger. I was over five fingers, or fist-size, before, so there is very much the sensation of being a virgin again with my new partner. Intimacy and sex are amazing now. My incontinence was also fixed almost instantly. I may have to have additional O-Shots to keep it under control, but it’s worthwhile!
Sandra’s story
Sandra* is 40 years old and lives in Hollywood, California
I desired a labiaplasty since puberty. Obviously, I didn’t know it was a procedure that existed at that age, but I just recall disliking the way my vagina looked the first time I truly saw it, when I was learning how to use tampons. I think there’s a misunderstanding that women who undergo cosmetic vaginal surgeries do it for their partners or because someone commented on the appearance or because they’ve seen a lot of porn and compared themselves… that wasn’t the situation for me. Even though I was very self-conscious during sex, no one ever made me feel bad about it. I just didn’t like how much longer my inner labia were, and I felt like I was always having to tuck them in when putting on a bathing suit. Bike shorts and leggings were definitely a no-no.
I was in a long-term relationship for most of my 20s, and I actually began looking into the procedure when I was around 25. I really wanted it and I was prepared to get it, but my boyfriend at the time loathed the idea. He said it was “mutilation” and that I’d be more unhappy after. He just wasn’t at all supportive and really got into my mind, so I postponed for a few years. We broke up for other reasons when I was 29; at 30, I decided to have the surgery. I had the funds to pay for it on my own, and I was single and didn’t have to worry about a partner pressuring me to have sex or anything before I recovered, so it seemed like the ideal time.
I don’t remember the recovery being particularly agonizing or challenging, but it was 10 years ago—maybe I blocked it out, the way I did childbirth. I adored, adored, adored how it turned out and entered my next relationship, with the man who is now my husband, feeling truly good in my own skin and able to be completely sexually open. I had my first child vaginally four years ago, and even though I tore a tiny bit and needed a few stitches, it didn’t really impact the appearance at all. I was worried about that, but it was a pleasant surprise.
I never informed my husband I had the surgery, but all my girlfriends know. They know it made me happy, but I don’t think they comprehend it. Labiaplasty gets a negative reputation, but it’s the same as a nose job or a tummy tuck or any other surgery—it was something that bothered me and there was a solution, so I don’t feel any disgrace about being proactive and doing it for myself.
Lisa’s story
Lisa* is 36 years old and lives in Spokane, Washington
My ex-husband and I separated more than a year ago, after 11 years together and four kids. I did a lot of healing before I decided to leave, which is how I had the strength to do it in the first place. I did a lot of introspection and focused on how I could improve rather than how he, or we, failed. It’s easier to concentrate on the things you can change rather than the things you can’t. I purchased a house; spent a lot of time with friends I hadn’t seen in years; and focused on my children, when I had them.
I wanted to do something for myself at the time, so I got vaginal rejuvenation and labiaplasty, and I’m very candid about why. I had always been extremely confident in my sexuality, but my ex had made me extremely insecure about my vagina during our relationship. Because of that, I was really anxious about the idea of having sex with someone else—I felt like I was unqualified to satisfy anyone.
I was already in the prime shape of my life, after having a tummy tuck and breast augmentation while we were married, so I decided to fix this one aspect. It was the best elective surgery I’ve had, in terms of my confidence. I’ve always been a sexual person, and when I became sexually active with a new boyfriend, it was invaluable to know that I had what I jokingly refer to as my “platinum vagina.” It’s eliminated all my concerns about sex after having kids, so I would have paid double or triple what I did to have this confidence. And yes, the fact that my ex knows about my new vagina and can’t touch it has its advantages!
*Names changed to protect privacy
